What Not to Say to Someone Who Has Been Made Redundant
Most of the advice about this is written as a list of nice alternatives. Here is the other half, which is more useful: the things people actually say, and why each one lands badly. All of these are said with good intentions. That is exactly the problem.
“Everything happens for a reason”
It does not, and they know it does not. A finance director looked at a spreadsheet. That is the reason.
What this sentence really does is ask them to find the meaning in it so that you can stop feeling uncomfortable. It is a request dressed as comfort.
“It might be the push you needed”
Possibly true in eighteen months. Completely useless on Tuesday.
And it carries a quiet accusation: that they were coasting, that they should have moved years ago, that this is a correction rather than a loss. Nobody means that. Everybody hears it.
“At least you got a payout”
Anything starting with “at least” is a competition they did not enter. It also assumes you know the number, which you do not, and statutory redundancy pay is a lot smaller than people imagine.
“I’m sure you’ll find something soon”
Harmless on day one. By week six it is a countdown clock with your name on it.
If you are going to say this at all, say it once, early, and then never again unless they raise it.
“Let me know if you need anything”
The most common one and the emptiest. It puts the work on the person who has had the worst week, and almost nobody ever calls it in.
Name the thing instead. “I’ll do your CV on Sunday.” “Beer Thursday, I’m paying.” A specific offer can be accepted. A vague one is just a noise you made.
And the one that is not on any list
Silence.
People go quiet because they are frightened of getting it wrong, and the person who has just been walked out of a building reads that silence as everyone else getting on with their lives. A clumsy message beats no message by a distance nobody appreciates until they have been the one waiting for it.
Sixty-five lines that do work, sorted by what actually happened, are on the main guide: what to say to someone who has been made redundant.
If a card says it better than you can
Every one of these is aimed at the company and the phrase it used, which is the whole point of the guide above.